Movie Review : Fifty Shades of Grey

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Okay…. so lots of people keep asking me about my review of Fifty Shades of Grey. I wasn’t going to bother as I feel there has already been way too much space given to this movie but so I can check the box and direct those who ask to my blog, here goes ……

This movie is rubbish…..absolute rubbish. Sure it took it’s millions at the box office but so what…. it’s still rubbish.

And yes it does show with a highly manipulative, very unhealthy relationship. There is no sharing or balance here, no matter how many orgasms he gives her.

But who am I to deny a woman her sexual freedom of thought? Who am I to judge what does or does not turn you on. For too long, women have been denied their fantasies so any step in the right direction of erotica for women is fine by me. Jamie Dornan is hot so who wouldn’t want to do a few laps around the playroom with him.

None of this changes the fact that the movie is just not very good. It is better than that drivel many refer to as ‘a novel’ but let’s be honest here, EL James is a terrible writer on more levels than I have room to list here and her grubby, inept hands are all over this boring, tiresome script.

The Director did the best she could and did spare us some of the more monstrous aspects of the novel…. the inner goddess and constant oh craps, for example…. but she could only salvage so much.

However, the cinematography was gorgeous, all the blues and ahem greys were lovely to look at. See! Something nice 🙂

Jamie Dornan is a great actor, as anyone who has seen The Fall can attest to. He can bring moody, brooding and mysterious with the best of them. Phew! But as Christian…. ummm nope. He seemed to be expending more energy on covering his natural Irish accent than anything else. Did he give up? Did he not care? Or did he realise he had made a huge mistake and just showed up to work because he had to.

Dakota Johnson was better than expected but is mediocre at best, just like her mother, whom she greatly resembles. And like her mother, let’s hope she has a Plan B or makes an interesting marriage(s) because unless things drastically improve, she has no real acting future.

Fifty Shades of Grey is just boring, dull and more boring. The two leads had very little chemistry and considering the subject matter, this was the kiss of death. The sex scenes were as tame as I expected but this wasn’t porn so no biggie…. but I did expect a little more sex.

Had it not been surrounded by all the hype, it would have already slipped quietly from our screens. Give it a miss because you will never get those 2 hours back.

1 1/2 stars

Love Flick xx

Director : Sam Taylor-Johnson

Starring : Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Eloise Mumford, Victor Rasuk, Luke Grimes, Marcia Gay Harden, Rita Ora

Running Time :  125 minutes

Release Date :  12 February 2015

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  1. Movie Review : How to Be Single | Write Here - February 28, 2016

    […] really is Johnson’s film. I gave her a scathing review for Fifty Shades (you can read it here) but she isn’t too bad here, given what she has to work with. She was sweet and adorable […]

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