I am not a Transformers fan because the movies have never really appealed to me. But this one I was looking forward to.
Set 5 years after the last movie and the fall of Chicago, the world has been convinced that the alien transformers are bad and their whereabouts should be reported to the authorities. They are also being actively hunted down by a branch of the government (one of the 3 letter agencies I think), some of whom appear to have gone rogue or black ops.
Enter our hero Cade Yeager (Wahlberg), a down on his luck electrical whizz who unwittingly buys a Transformer, Optimus Prime. He is so broke he is about to lose his house. His wife died many years ago, so it is just he and his daughter Tessa (Nicola). Tessa is about to head off to college and is being secretly romanced by a cocky Irish race driver Shane (Reynor).
So Cade finds a Transformer, the government finds Cade, the Transformer tries to protect Cade, the Transformer runs, Cade and his family runs……… and its on!
There is no doubt that this movie is visually spectacular. I was transfixed by the transforming…….hey, its my first one geez …….. and can find no fault with this side of the movie. It was shiny and fun and fast and just an absolute treat to watch.
The there is Stanley Tucci who plays the sinister bad guy Joshua Joyce. As usual, Tucci shines and is beyond perfection. He can be relied upon in every role he takes to make the most of it. Each time he is onscreen, your attention is focussed on him. He is his over the top, melodramatic best here.
Tucci is, in fact, the best part of this movie. And I find that extraordinarily ironic considering the movie is about Transformers.
Wahlberg gives as good a performance as he can, all things considered. And by all things considered I mean a shitty script with dialogue the poor guy must have cringed at. His character’s obsession with his daughter’s attire was borderline creepy and it was only Wahlberg himself who saved it from being creepy.
Speaking of the daughter, I cannot think of a more annoying and useless character in a movie. She is a gorgeous girl but her attempts at sassy teenager came across as smart arse and if she was my daughter, she would not have spoken to me like that I can assure you! And the Irish boyfriend? The only surprising thing was that the actor IS actually Irish. I dont know what happened but things are pretty dire when you cant even get your native accent right.
This movie stretched for a mind numbing 165 minutes and after the first 90 or so, I was just that. Numb! I just wanted the movie to end. There were a few subplots like dinosaurs and strange new metals but I was so paralysed by boredom that I couldn’t even be bothered to pay attention anymore.
Oh and do not even get me started on product placement. Are they kidding?? Absolutely pathetic!
No doubt this movie will be a monster hit, with school holidays here and its mega promo budget. …….but it shouldnt be. It should have been edited and it should have been given a decent script but neither of these things happened.
The kids will love it and fans of the Transformers will love it. The rest of us will be bored and want to escape.
Dont waste your money …go and see this move again (its 22 Jump Street for those who dont click the link 😛 )
Love Flick xx
Director : Michael Bay
Starring : Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Titus Welliver, Sophia Myles, Bingbing Li, TJ Miller
Running Time : 165 minutes
Release Date : 25 June 2014